We're sorry if it doesn't provide all the answers and take away such pain. We pray and hope it helps some at least. Do send me a few lines to improve this if you think of anything, anything at all - this meditation can be improved to better help, we're sure.
And a message from heaven just came... God gently, closely spoke to me. It was a clear voice, distinct.
He told me about how much he cared for my life - and he also understood how people couldn't understand this because I had died, killed by mindless violence on that terrible day, a day etched on memories, scarring the minds and lives of those I love - family and friends who loved me and still do - as well as others.
And I turned to him, full of sadness, to ask him about what happened...
"Did I disappoint you or let you down that you should let me die this way, that I had to leave my friends and family without even saying goodbye?"
When I asked this question, he sighed deeply and also with deep sadness tried but struggled to explain...
"Your life was special, given by eternal right," he said. "It is against my law for it to be taken by another human being.
"I remember you forming in the womb, your first heartbeat, those little fingers that I let rest against my invisible hand. I was there with you even then.
"It was then that you touched my heart, you touched my omnipotent soul - you always have. I am touched by every new life of creation, always. And I also knew what you could grow to be. Imagine that.
"From that moment, you changed my life. Because I loved you even then, especially then, especially now.
"My heart soared because you were now alive, breathing and living. I brushed your face and held your head, softly, invisibly - so exciting that you were here.
"And then you grew, I watched your steps - and saw the difficulties you faced, some great times - and the odd injustice. Helped at times... sometimes I did, while your loved ones, friends and family did more.
"On that fateful day, you were injured to point of death - and quietly, slowly I eased you away from, perhaps, a difficult life or a life of great promise. Into my care and the care of old friends, family - and my family."
And I realised God couldn't really answer my question. That was my life and someone took it - I always think now that my life now stands to remind others that you must not kill.
Goodbye my friends, my wife, my husband, my mum, my dad, my sister and brother. 'Au revoir' you all, see you again one day. Until then, take care of your life and the lives of those around you. xxx